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[personal profile] deadlyhairpin
Dr. Byeong-Lee Kim was good at his job. Which, considering the lack of support and funding he normally received, was a bit of a miracle, in of itself. Add into that the additional factor that, sometimes, he felt as though he were the one going crazy, and he was walking, breathing proof of a higher power. Not that anyone would know that last fact, of course. Billy didn't get to be a well-respected psychiatrist by airing his own dirty laundry around for people to look at.

Hypocritical? Maybe. But he'd felt for a good chunk of his life that he was meant to help people. And as long as he was still able to do that, he wasn't about to do something stupid and throw it all away.

Which was why, this morning, instead of doing what should have been the smart thing and cancel all of his appointments, he was instead sitting behind his desk and typing out notes on his computer. Sipping at the coffee his administrative assistant had brought him. Humming to himself. <i>Anything</i> other than thinking about that damned dream he'd had, last night. The same one he'd been having all week that he didn't understand and couldn't seem to get away from.

A man on a horse, beside him. A strong cigarette getting passed from hand to hand. Stolen kisses. Locked doors. Bullet wounds and the sound of breaking wood as something precious fell. Broke on the ground below. A man laughing beside him. '<i>Wherever I go, Billy goes</i>'.

"Dr. Kim," the assistant interrupted, knocking on the door. "Your first appointment has arrived."

Byeong-Lee looked over his notes and found the paperwork he needed, glad for a distraction. "Send him in," he said with a wave, making some preliminary notes on the record. Planning his questions.

'<i>I knew you'd come back</i>.'

He lets out a small groan, rubbing at his eyes hard with the palms of his hand. "Stop it," he grumbled to himself, trying to will the dream away. Why? Why was it so vivid? Why could he seem to feel it? Remember it as though he'd been on that horse, himself? He groaned again and scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to just push it all away. He had work to do. People to help.

"Retrouvez votre bonne nuit," he reminds himself quietly.

And then looks up, ready to start whatever the day had prepared for him.

Date: 2016-11-22 04:43 am (UTC)
intheashes: (the seven)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
It's a game he likes to play because he knows his middle name is a strange one. With quite the story behind it. But he enjoys watching people guess. So far, no one has ever got it right. No one. But here was Byeong-Lee getting closer than anyone has ever gotten it before. He even cracks a huge smile at how close, though the way he says it, it's like hearing something he's wanted to hear but hasn't for many years. The nostalgia is so strong, he just want to hear the doctor say it again and again and again for the rest of their lives. Not usually something anyone thinks on what's only supposed to be a dinner with a new friend.

"Close. Really close. It's actually Goodnight. It used to be Garth...But I hated it so much that when I could, I got it legally changed. I know it's pretty silly and even the judges and the lawyers looked at me funny when I did it, but I just felt like that's what it was supposed to be. They finally agreed to the change right after I signed my first contract with the army. Would you believe I had to resign everything with the new name? That's why just the G. Because must as I love it, writing that all out can be a pain in the ass." He gives a grin and under the table, he knocks their knees together playfully.

Date: 2016-11-24 06:13 am (UTC)
intheashes: (goody and billy)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He nods a little. He really can't explain why he had needed to change a part of his name like he had. He had just...wanted to. Like his name had felt wrong. As soon as he had gotten it changed, things had felt better. He had made it through basic, sniper school, everything, all because that G stood for something. Something special and uniquely his. When he could close his eyes at night and hear the echo of a voice he knew he loved whispering into his ear, calling him "Goody." just like Byeong-Lee had. Just the same way. He almost wanted to hear the man say it again, just to be certain but instead, he listened.

Sam had never contacted him. Or if he had tried, his parents must have tossed the letter as junk mail, or it was because they have moved around so much that he couldn't be found. Whatever it was, he hadn't gotten that. But he still listened all the same, a warm feeling sitting on his chest, and the thought that no matter what, Sam had always supported his happiness.

He murmurs the French back. It's flawless, like he had spoken the language all his life. "Sort of like my name. It just sounded right. But Doc," He sort of leans to the side, his arm pressing against the other man's almost completely. "I'm glad you got turned around. Cause it means I got to meet you. Plus you can't have done too badly for yourself. You got to be pretty smart to be a shrink, right? So don't worry about it. Instead...any non-doctor like questions, to make up for that stuff?" He just wants his dinner companion to be comfortable.

Date: 2016-11-27 12:52 am (UTC)
intheashes: (10)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He sort of flushes at that. John isn't really predisposed to blushing, but there's just something about Doctor Kim that has the blood rushing to parts of him it shouldn't. The teasing only makes it more evident that he did flush. He gives a shy little nod and sort of messes with a napkin. "Maybe I am. I guess I want to know all about you." He does too. He wants to learn everything he can about the man that feels so familiar. Maybe if he did, he could figure out why Byeong-Lee seemed so nostalgic.

John goes just a little redder when his glass of water is taken, but he can't stop the doctor. Just watch as his drink ends up sipped and put back in front of him. Unconsciously, he reaches for the same glass to turn it, not away from where that mouth touched, but so that his lips would brush where the other man's had been.

He does it to compose himself and his thoughts. "Mom remarried after she and dad split. Couldn't handle moving around all the time. I broke her heart, following in dad's footsteps, joining the army and all. She got real mad at me when she found out I forged her signature to sign myself up a year younger than was allowable. She won't speak to me. The Major General....my dad... well..." He wishes he had a stiff drink right now because it's hard to admit out loud. "When I came out, he disowned me. It's okay that I'm a decorated sniper. It's great that I kill tons of terrorists. He's super proud of my military career, but god forbid I be gay. So, I'm not welcome there either." There's a nervous look then to the side, right at Billy because he knows that though the rules have been repealed, there's still a lot of pressure and predigest against homosexuals in service. He's worried that his admitting to it might scare his new friend off.

"So, that's how it is." He picks up the glass again to get a little drink before looking at the doctor directly. "I'm sure a great guy like you already has plans. Probably going home to the wife and kids after this, hmm?"

Date: 2016-11-28 02:15 am (UTC)
intheashes: (aiming)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He sort of stares at the doctor now, trying to suss out what had just been admitted. A part of John was utterly elated by the fact that they had something else in common other than some old western tv series neither of them could remember. He has to bit his tongue not to ask about boyfriend now. Surely, a great, handsome guy like Dr. Kim would have no trouble getting any lover his heart desired. But he almost hopes the man is single and it sounds like he might be. With him being alone at home. He shouldn't be happy about that. He should never wish being alone on anyone, but knowing that there's no competition is emboldening. Not that he's considering asking the man out on an actual date. They're just a doctor and his patient, enjoying a meal together.

A doctor that keeps drinking from his glass. An act that John still hasn't bothered to fix. Instead, he'll just enjoy getting to press his mouth to where Byeong-Lee's had been moments earlier. He reaches out a little with his free hand to lightly run a thumb over one high cheekbone. "Hey now. You don't have to apologize to me for that. It hurts, but it's also made me stronger. It made me the man I am. I can walk with my back straight and my head held high because I never compromised my principles. I'd rather be alone than live a coward's life, always running and hiding who I am. So if anything, they did me a favor of letting me go and live the way I want. And I suppose one day, God willing, I'll find someone I want to come home to." He gives a playful lean against the doctor.

Date: 2016-11-30 06:31 am (UTC)
intheashes: (kind of a smile)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He almost wants to ask the doctor if he really thinks he's handsome. They've already crossed so many lines, why not one more. After all, he thinks Byeong-Lee is incredibly attractive. Even more, he is tempted to ask what he meant about his person to come home to being closer. But his questions were stopped by the disappointed waitress. In a way, John feels a bit bad. He can't help that he's overly friendly, or as the Doctor so keenly put it, a flirt. He would make up for it. Though his companion might be footing the bill, John was going to make sure there was a healthy tip to sooth her disappointed heart.

Unconsciously, he scoots the gumbo between the two of them to share like it's an appetizer and not part of his ordered meal. He almost expects to share, like he's shared many meals with this man, ordering way more than he could eat so that the man beside him would never go hungry. He even sort of stares at the man, expectantly before his expression changes to one of shock. A date...Was this a date then? But then Billy suddenly seems so against the idea of it being so.

"Once it is a date, you'll have to let me know ahead of time. I certainly am not dressed for a proper date." Says the man in the fancy vest and tie. "I'd like to at least look good if I'm going to be going out with you." Napalm is added to this little blaze when he reaches for Byeung-Lee's glass and takes a huge drink of it, looking over the rim at the man pointedly. "There. We're even. Now you best eat this gumbo with me before it gets cold. Cold gumbo is one of the cardinal sins, right after wearing white after Labor Day."

Date: 2016-12-03 09:38 pm (UTC)
intheashes: (kind of a smile)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
"My formals?" He raises both his eyebrows as the man helps himself to the gumbo before them. He unconsciously smooths down his vest. He seems to be actually considering it. "I haven't put on my formals since I was awarded my fourth Silver Star." John generally doesn't like talking about the multitude of awards he has earned. He is one of those soldiers that doesn't think he's earned them. He was just doing his job. However, speaking to Byeong-Lee , he sort of wants to put it all on. It's been a while since anyone's been so complementary to him. While he is aware he's good looking, it's nice to hear it from such a handsome man.

He laughs a little, reaching for his spoon. "You don't have to worry about that. I don't own a tux. In fact, this is one of the two civilian outfits I own. With how much I deploy I really don't need that much in the way of clothing." He takes his first bite of the soup and frowns a little. He looks at the doctor and considers for a long moment. He isn't sure if he should be so forward to invite himself out with the man again, but Byeong-Lee had already sort of suggested taking him out to more places. "But I might have to get more if I really am going to be going out more. Would that be your recommendation? Get myself out there and enjoy my time before I go back." The small playful hint that he might want to get out and enjoy himself while in the presence of the doctor. The press of his leg against Byoung-Lee's is also a testament to his hidden desire for another, this time real, date.

One more bite and John just puts his spoon down. "You're right. I am about to complain. This doesn't taste right at all. But I think I know why. Let me borrow this a moment?" He totally means the spoon the man next to him was using. He'll even try to snatch it to use and if he does, he'll be all smiles again because that's what it was missing. Like the glass, it felt as if they often used the same cutlery.

Date: 2016-12-05 02:57 am (UTC)
intheashes: (down and out)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He happily eats using Billy's spoon. As he does, he considers it. He looks over the utensil, eyes going half-closed and flirting a little more. His foot lightly teases up Billy's calf before he realizes he's doing it and he stops. He stops and plants his feet on the ground. He doesn't know why but he wanted to get this man's attention and keep it so badly. "You don't have to do that, Doc. I know how to pick out my own cloths. I just never had occasion for civilian attire before."

John hands the spoon back, full of the soup and smiles at the man. "Here. I bet you'll agree it tastes better." He laughs a little and takes a long drink of Billy's water. "But I wouldn't say no to a movie. Or a club." He puts the glass down and sort of fiddles with a napkin all of a sudden. "Say... Doctor Kim... have you...ever been to Spurs?" The question is nearly whispered, as if he's suddenly not sure, like it's shameful to admit that he's been to the local gay bar. "I go there sometimes. I really like their drinks. But I'm asking because they have theme nights and all...and with that tv show and all... I thought maybe the two of us...you and I we could..." He trails off and laughs a little. He feels so much like a teenage boy, asking his crush out on a date. He feels ridiculous and awkward and he can't even look at Byeong-Lee. He's never tripped over his own tongue this badly.

He runs a hand over his face and shakes his head. "Never mind. Just never mind." Their meal couldn't get there soon enough.

Date: 2016-12-25 09:40 pm (UTC)
intheashes: (done)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
John hasn't been so nervous in a long time. Here he is, asking someone for an actual date in what seemed to be forever. It's not like he's never asked a guy out before, but there was something just a little different this time. Like he's always longed to ask this man for an outing but never could for fear of what might happen to them. He's ready to retract the offer. To laugh it off. Because of course the doctor wouldn't want to go out on a date with some sniper. And even if he did, it felt like there would be so much danger for them that he would be looking over his shoulder the entire time.

He didn't realize he was fiddling with his napkin. His face was worried, peeking at Byeong-Lee from under his eyelashes. His breath rushes out suddenly. He flushes at the fact that he had actually been holding his breath waiting for the answer. And the answer he wanted more than anything in the world. His worried frown splits into a brilliant smile. "Thursday. I can definitely meet you there Thursday. I'll be there!" He'll even work something out with the commanders to make sure he has that night to himself completely.

His smile goes even brighter as he laughs and leans over a little to knock his shoulder into Billy's. "I have something. But I won't tell you what. You don't get to see it Thursday. But you have my word," John leans over and husks into the doctor's ear. When he does, there's just the slightest touch of a Louisiana Drawl, as if he's just waking up before it's repressed again. "I promise you, you'll be pleasantly surprised." He blows into that ear and then leans back to dip some bread into the soup so Billy can keep the spoon for now. Dips it and is more eager for Thursday than he is for his burger that will be coming soon.

Date: 2016-12-28 04:59 am (UTC)
intheashes: (10)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
John's week had been filled with maneuvers and training. It was always a bit difficult for units to transition a new sniper into their group. Even ones as skilled as he was. He had done his best to stay focused, but any time his finger wasn't on the trigger for practice village sweeps, his mind flitted back to the handsome young shrink that had stamped his papers and had dinner with him.

He hadn't had a date in so long he almost felt giddy about it. He had even fretted that his cloths wouldn't be enough. Billy had asked for specific things and he had wanted to do what he could to make that dream come true. But still, on the day of their date, he had finished up training early and all but begged for a pass into town.

When he arrived, Billy hadn't been there. The Uber dropped him and John had been a bit disappointed. But he knew he was early and so he waited. And waited some more. Still no doctor. Sighing, he had gotten up and gone out onto the floor to kill time until his date arrived. And that's how Byeong-Lee would finally catch sight of him. Right in the middle of a heel toe slide that was more hips than it should be in those skin tight jeans. The light blue of his shirt looking so soft and inviting under yet another vest. This time in gray. The same gray as the hat, sitting cocked a little playfully on his head. Each slide of his snakeskin cowboy boots draws attention to him as he all but grinds his way to the end of the song. The huge warm smile he flashes when he gives a energetic clap for another dance well danced by the line all but sparkling before he takes his spot again in the line.

At the bar, the tender just chuckles a little. "That John. Always teasing."

Date: 2016-12-29 08:20 pm (UTC)
intheashes: (kind of a smile)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
John had been having a hell of a time, honestly. Coming here was the one time he could let his hair down and let lose a little. No tightly regimented rules and restrictions. He could dress how he wanted, move how he pleased, it was freedom and he thrived on it, just as much as he thrived on having his finger rest on the trigger with an enemy in his crosshairs. Even better because while everyone looked, no one bothered him. Not after the first few times when he had let in known in no uncertain terms that he wasn't here for a fuck. He was here for a few dances, a few beers, and that's it. He's never ever gone home with anyone, no matter how much they might hit on him.

How he had managed to make an entire bar know he was look but not touch almost became evident when the doctor appeared behind him and yelled in his ear to be heard over the music. He reacted out of trained habit, sweeping around, his punch stopping only a fraction of an inch from the doctor's stomach. He had managed to pull the punch just in time. Then he smiles, the same smile he had been wearing while dancing, the one he had worn at their little dinner date. The one that lights up the entire room. "You should be careful, Doc, sneaking up on a sniper like that. You're libel to get knocked for a loop." He doesn't know he's already knocked this man for one.

He takes the offered beer, fingertips lingering and he starts towards the bar, abandoning the floor for now. It causes quite a stir because he's never left that floor for anyone. "All the time. I love it here! I love the music and I love the atmosphere and the beer is damn good too." Which means that yes, he probably drinks far too much in this place. As he walks, he sort of knocks his hip against Byeong-Lee's and it's definitely evident that the man was right about his lack of underthings in those pants. "But you are wrong about one thing, doc. You're the first boy I've asked to come here with me. Cause I wanted to share my favorite place with you. This is the one place I miss the most when I'm overseas or get restationed. It's the one place I always come back to when I get the chance."

He's headed to the bar so they don't have to shout over the music so much. "Do you like it?"

Date: 2016-12-30 04:11 pm (UTC)
intheashes: (kind of a smile)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
He thanks the bartender for the drink with a sunny smile that could melt even the coldest heart. His voice is almost a purred drawl of "Y'all didn't have to do that. But I thank you kindly." Like receiving free drinks was normal. It was. He doesn't know why, but he feels like people just buying him drinks because of who he was had always been a thing. Everyone wanted to drink with him. Hear him tell wild stories and laugh with him.

The hand resting on his hip only surprises him for a moment. After he had beat the hell out of one guy who hadn't understood the rules, no one really put hands on him unless he started it. But after the initial surprise there was a deep warm familiarity to it. For a moment there was a soft memory flitting through his mind. That this, this is what he had been missing this entire time. Unconsciously he leans against Byeong-Lee for a moment.

"I guess it can be that. But not for me. I just really like the music and dancing." Plus he did like the people. Now, as then, he's still a deeply social creature. "Now I'm disappointed we were never here at the same time." Just how many times had they just barely missed each other.

He laughs again and leans in. He's close. So close. Another inch and they'd be kissing. It's tempting too. So tempting. What would it feel like to kiss the doctor? His eyes slide half-closed and he breathes out slowly, breath brushing over Byeong-Lee's lips before pulling away and taking a drink. "Rumors are true. I am. A tease. But only because I haven't found him yet. The man I want to do more with than just tease. After my last few failures..." No. He's not taking about aborted relationships right now. This is a date. Not a session on the couch. "Are you afraid I'll bite off more than I can chew? If so, you don't have to worry. I can look after myself." Though there's that eerie longing feeling that tells him he wouldn't mind if this man looked after him.

Date: 2017-01-01 03:03 am (UTC)
intheashes: (kind of a smile)
From: [personal profile] intheashes
The doctor does indeed seem to know just how to press his buttons. He's never let anyone this close. Never let anyone get under his skin and under his vest. His eyes slide half closed, lips parting just slightly at the sound of that accent. He all but groans at the sound of it. His knees grow weak for a moment and his shivers at the breath in his ear as well as that accent. The accent that makes him feel like he's suddenly come home after a very long time away.

His hand has to grip onto the bar to steady himself as Byeong-Lee continues to husk at him. He's certain his breathing has started coming a bit short and he has to shift a little in those tight pants to relieve the sudden pressure there. His body shifting with that movement, forward into that small touch under his vest.

"I won't want to tease because I'll want to make good on it. I think for the right man, making good on the teasing would be a lot of fun." His half-closed eyes light on Byeong-Lee's mouth and he bites down on his own lower lip as if to restrain himself from taking them. "Don't be sorry about that. Who knows. Tonight might be the night I stop being single." He hums a little as if there's a suggestion there before he throws back his drink.

It only takes one. Just the one and his cheeks flush a little. His cheeks flush and his hand slides against the doctor's back a little. His words come out just the slightest bit slurred and there's a bit of a smooth southern draw at the edge of it. "Do you dance, cher? Or do you just prefer to watch. I wouldn't mind you watching me, cher. Of all the eyes at the bar tonight, yours is the eyes I want on me the most." One drink and his hands are sneaking not to subtle touches up and down the man's spine. It seems as it was then, it is so now, he just can't hold his alcohol.

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